Review | Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)

Review | Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)

Two office guys notice that since the start of the new Sales Manager, everyone is turning to into the undead.

My wife is currently experiencing, how can I put this, a desire to watch all the films starring her latest “crush”, Pedro Pascal.

We’ve watched The Mandalorian, which of course is great but you can’t actually see him. The next on the list was Kingsman: The Golden Circle, and she then watched Triple Frontier before moving onto the series Narcos on Netflix.

She then asked me to find another title, Bloodsucking Bastards, which was renamed to Bloodsucking Bosses for the UK DVD release.

We first watched the trailer which made it look like a lot of fun and I hunted down a copy. If you do decide to watch this film, please don’t watch any of the trailers as it give’s away many of the film’s great moments.

Bloodsucking Bastards is set in the sales office of a company which amongst many dubious items sells penis enhancement pills.

Our film’s hero is Evan Sanders, he is currently the acting sales manager for the company, however, he is clearly not up to the job.

Evan’s best friend and professional slacker, Tim, also works in the office along with his work buddies, Andrew and Mike. Evan keeps trying to get this trio to pull their weight, but he obviously has no influence in this environment.

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It doesn’t help that Evan is also trying to rescue his relationship with his girlfriend Amanda who is the head of Human Resources. They split up due to an embarrassing moment by Evan that I won’t spoil here.

 Tim (Joey Kern) and Evan (Fran Kranz) start noticing some strange changes.

We learn that the upcoming meeting with a client called Phallucite could be a major win for the sales department and keep the whole company afloat. Department head Ted has called a meeting where Evan is convinced that he will receive that long awaited promotion to become the real Sales Manager.

To his surprise, Ted has hired Max Phillips, an old college friend of Evan’s. Max has been hired because of his aggressive management style to get the sales team back on track.

That night, Mike stays behind in the office alone to abuse the internet access at the office. Something starts to freak him out, and he eventually ends up hiding in the toilet where he ends up being attacked.

Evan discovers the body in the bathroom the following morning, Mikes throat is ripped to shreds. He rushes back into Ted’s office to get help but once they return to the toilet, everything is spick and span.

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Evan will find that the office will soon start to get stranger and stranger.

I don’t want to say any more than that as it would spoil the film. Even though the plot is fairly obvious, they’re still a few surprises along the way but what kept me watching was the comedy.

Whilst Evan (Fran Kranz) is the hero of the story, the majority of the laughs come from slacker Tim (Joey Kern) and his attitude to not only work life but the vampire situation as well.

Where does Pedro Pascal come into all this? He plays the new department manager, Max Phillips. The aggressive, smart managerial type but also creepily displays his vampire tendencies to great effect.

Bloodsucking Bastards is a low budget film but that doesn’t detract from the experience at all. Both my other half and I were laughing out loud regularly throughout the film, and we both highly recommend it.

Shaun of the Dead but with vampires and just as funny! – 5/5


John Abbitt

About the author | John Abbitt

@UKFilmNerd | John loves film, and he used to write for his own website, The Tydirium Hangar Bay, in the late 1990s. Whilst that website became lost in the passages of time, John's love of film did not. He's back, writing for The Unheard Nerd.